What if

What if...

I tried what I want

I was being honest about something

I was not too afraid to go out from comfort zone

I just true to my self

...at that time

Actually 'what if' could engage in future too, it might be become a question which needs consideration, but for me, 'what if' just like a question from the past. I've ever tasted it and I believe everyone has too, at least once in a life. So lucky for people to have it just one, I'm sorry for myself that I still fall into it day by day 'til I realize it's enough, because trust me, it's ruin your life. It might be not attack your whole life but it still there, the question is still there, and keep asking you although you try hard to let it away.  That's why I said 'what if' is bitter than 'the end' because it usually followed by regret. When something called 'the end', it means already finished and you can go from that, you can step forward no matter how hard it would be but with 'what if' in your head, you just stuck in one place, it's like you pretend that you're okay but deep in your heart you keep asking 'am I okay?'.

To be honest, for me, questioning my self about why I didn't do something made me tiresome and it makes no sense because time pass by and I can not turn back time but adding the word 'it's too late' will make it more worse. Yeah, actually  that is late but it's not too late to not to do it again, then about the past, I think no one can fix all the things in their life, just accept it and learn from it, but if you still keep questioning and still think that 'the past' is your way, follow your heart. If following your heart made you end up like a selfish person then be selfish. But when you find the answer is not for you anymore, admit it, that's 'the end' means now you can step forward and release your pain because you already pay off your charge by trying to find the answer.

Vi